Woodstock On Wheels

Friday night I got caught up in Critical Mass.

It was unavoidable. I had to pick up my bike from the Embarcadero bike station. The Critical Mass riders effectively shut down the bus service all along downtown. So I couldn't load my bike on a bus to get home. My legs were blasted to hell from an earlier ride that morning, so I was NOT going to ride up California Street.

So I bit the bullet, and rode through downtown with several hundred bicycle hippies.

Ahead of me was a bare bass bare naked man. How he could ride a narrow bike seat without chaffing his ass crack or breaking his balls is beyond me.

To my side was a South Asian man who wired up a sound system to his mountain bike and blasted Bhangra Hip Hop.

And to my back, that was the best part.

A Frenchman who said;

"Eeet eez like Woodstock all ovair agaeen...."

You said it brother....

A Mellow Scary Ride

M and I were in a rush on Sunday night to get to a food event in the Richmond. So we took a cab.

I was able to hail down a cab, but the warning signs began as soon as he gestured for us to cross the street.

First, he put out WHAT I THOUGHT was a cigarette bud.

But then very quickly, he squirted some air freshener out of a can into the backseat.

Just as we sat down, I picked up the fading aroma of a marijuana, immediately followed by the cloying scent of industrial pine spray.

I gave the driver our destination and turned to M. She hadn't noticed anything, I whispered to her to buckle in. As I was doing that, the driver put on a pair of Nike leather gloves.

I had a bad feeling this was going to turn into a cross between Fast & the Furious and Harold and Kumar.

Then he pulled away into the traffic -- at 20 mph. The crown victoria rocked to the musice of -- the classice music station.

After close to a half an hour trudging very slowly on Geary Street, we finally made it to our restaurant.

Illegal -- yes! Dangerous -- I'm still trying to figure this one out. I could ride my bike quicker than this stoned cabe driver could drive!

Explaining the Manther

Back in December I had to explain to a friend what a Manther was. For more details, reference below;

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=manther

The problem of course is that text isn't as good as visuals for showing people what you mean.

Thankfully, Mel Gibson has made my task much easier.



Thanks Mel!

There were these two Marina Girls on the subway one evening....

For those unfamiliar with the term Marina Girls, reference this;

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Marina%20Girl

Anyways...

Two Marina Girls sat ahead of me one night on the BART. One was kvetching about her ex-boyfriend.

Marina Girl One: Ughhh! I'm so glad I broke up with him.

Marina Girl Two: Why?

Marina Girl One: Cuz he was never into me or into a relationship, all he wanted to do was f#@k!!

Marina Girl Two: (Opens mouth slightly aghast).

Marina Girl One: I found out after we broke up, he met up with his best friend from high school His best friend brought along his new girlfriend. You know what he did?

Marina Girl Two: What did he do?

Marina Girl One: His buddy drank too much, passed out, so he hit on his best friends girlfriend right in front of him! I swear to God, all he wants to do is f#@k!

Hmmm...

If the Marina Girl One's ex-boyfriend made a lot more money, would she be so upset he that he was a man-whore.

Not on a Subway, But Still Fun

Was at the North Beach Festival, overhead this conversation between two dudes and the girlfriend of one of the dudes.

Dude One: Dude, You are SOOO INDIFFERENT to strippers.

Dude Two (with arm around girlfriend: Silence.

Dude One: "You are sooo indifferent to strippers, you're BORDERLINE GAY!"

Hmmm, in the girlfriends position, should she be happy her man isn't into strippers, or worried that her man isn't into the sight of a naked woman.

Stuff to ponder.

Dude, Where's My Weed...

Was riding home from Oak-town one night. I was tired and frustrated by work, in no mood to stand up riding the BART back home.

While walking through the car looking for a seat I saw a girl sit down then immediately get up from a 4-seat cluster. Tired and not thinking, I went straight to where she was sitting. Then I saw why she left.

Sitting there, half open, a plastic sandwich bag filled with marijuana buds. Some pothead had dropped their stash on the train!

I did what the girl did and left.

On instinct I shot a glance in the direction where the girl went, she shot me a knowing smile.

At the same time, some dude (or dudette), probably in Berkeley, was probably saying;

"WTF, where did my weed go."

Probably went home with some BART maintenance worker....

Welcome

Welcome to my new blog.

I've spent many years travelling the subways and city buses here in the San Francisco Bay Area. While on the bus and train I couldn't avoid listening in on some of the odd conversations that occurred around me. Besides the conversations there were the random things I'd come across -- odd scenes, unusual situations, strange people.

This blog is devoted to the random oddities that I come across. I hope you find this as amusing, or as shocking, as I find riding the rails everyday to and from work.

Note, I see this as a community blog. If you have a story you would like to share, your own oddball public transportation story, feel free to contact me. We'll figure out a way you can post on this website.

Enjoy...